He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
