He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
