I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
