I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
