so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
