Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize