You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
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I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
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Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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