There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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