New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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