What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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