this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
