Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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