hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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