I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
