There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
