its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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