Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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