I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
