there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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