Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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