She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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