didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
