maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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