Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
