I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I FOUND THE LEGS
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
