So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
