So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
