Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
