And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
