im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
