lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
