im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
