I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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