this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize