Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
