It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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