walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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