ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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