she woke up with a sticky ear
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
