I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
