I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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