I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
