It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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