Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
