even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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