today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
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Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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