Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
