Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
