i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
