I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize