My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
