My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
be right there i have to get my cape
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
