I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
